The Stars are Out
I could see the stars passing; the ship was making excellent progress. I checked that everything was operational and updated the log. The power from one of the solar panels was down, it could be damaged. A voice interrupted me.
“It’s a shame about the major.”
“Yes, it’s a great shame,” I said.
“He was my favourite.”
“I didn’t think you were supposed to have favourites.”
“Well, you know, Jack; I’m only human.”
I looked up from my terminal. I wasn’t in the mood for an argument, so I stood up and walked to the galley.
“It was a shame about Kate, too.”
I went to the drinks machine. “Look, it was a shame about everyone – it was an accident.”
“I you say so, Jack.”
Was there no escape? “You know it was an accident, there was an explosion.”
“Well, I don’t know, Jack – do I? You see, I wasn’t there.”
I checked the drinks on offer. I needed something stronger than a coffee. My thoughts went back to the planet. There must have been a problem with the gas line. Tom was on it. They were complaining of a blockage, Tom went to sort it. Yeah, it was the major’s fault. Tom must have made the mistake. Kate was at the front with Brad. They wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. Poor souls, they didn’t stand a chance. All for some sodding minerals. My head was aching, I felt hot, a bead of perspiration rolled down my brow. I could do with something.
“There might be a problem with your urine sample, Jack.”
“What?”
“Your urine sample.”
The computer was driving me insane. I couldn’t switch it off, although I had thought about it.
“What problem?”
“Well, Jack, your urine sample did not match your intake of food.”
I shook my head, “Match? Which day are we talking about?”
“The day of the incident.”
I picked up a sachet of food. “Look, chicken and vegetable. One of my favourites.” It really wasn’t. “I put chicken and vegetable on the log, but hey, look inside the packet, it’s actually spicy pasta. See, you can’t always rely on the log.”
“Well, Jack, this is most irregular.”
“So, it’s irregular. So what?”
“Well, can you remember what you did eat that day, Jack?”
“No, I can’t. I can’t remember, do you understand?” I had five months of this to look forward to. The computer wasn’t a problem when there were other humans to talk to. You could joke about it, have a laugh. Why was it interested in my urine sample? I think I may have taken something that day, nothing much; just something Brad had given me. Everyone was taking something; you can’t survive on a round trip to Mars without something. It was nothing though, green goblins; everyone was taking them. Well, maybe not Tom. It was just one, though. I was holding the gas line and then Brad slipped me a couple. No, one. JUST ONE!
It was hard to take something whilst you were suited up. I had to hold the gas line in one hand and pass it through the suit’s outer shell. It was a tricky manoeuvre. No, no, no. I was not holding the gas line. Tom was holding the gas line. Now, where was I. WHERE WAS I?
My head was pounding; I took a couple of aspirins. They wouldn’t help. I needed some of Brad’s stuff. They must be in his bunk. I opened the sachet and sipped on the spicy pasta. It was insipid. I put it in the microwave for a minute, it tasted better warm. I took it out and finished off the sachet.
I still felt rough. I went down to the cabins where it was zero gravity as the cabins didn’t rotate. It was a case of pushing and pulling yourself along the corridor. There was peace in the cabins; sanctuary; it was out of reach of the computer. I went into Brad’s cabin and searched for the pills. There were some photos on Brad’s wall, his parents, possibly his sister as well. I don’t think he had a steady girlfriend. How could you in this game? I went to his locker; there was some electrical gear, headphones, a games console, a hat and a tub of chewing gum. I opened the tub. Yes, the green goblins. I took two and immediately felt better, although it would take ten minutes for them to kick in. Brad’s Mum was staring down at me from the wall. Her eyes followed me around. I didn’t want to look at her, so I put my hand up to shield her gaze and tore her photo down. I needed to get out of there. I made my way back to the galley.
“Where have you been, Jack?”
The computer was relentless, “Just to the bunks,” I said.
“Did you go to Brad’s bunk?”
I sighed. “I did – I was checking everything was okay.”
“Was everything okay, Jack?”
“Yes, yes; it was very okay.”
“Good, Jack, because the controller has a few questions about your report of the accident.”
“Get him to mail them to me.”
“I think he did mail them to you, yesterday. Did you get them, Jack? I can get them sent again.”
I exhaled slowly. “Yes, I saw them.”
“You see, the controller seems to think that at the time of the accident, you might have been on the gas line.”
I stood by the drinks dispenser. “Well if you’d read the report you’d know I wasn’t. I made it clear in the report.” I pressed the button for a coffee. The coffee wasn’t brilliant, but then nothing was.
“Well, you see, Jack.” The computer waited whilst the machine spluttered. “You see, I did read the report.”
I sighed; I removed the coffee from the machine and took a sip. The green goblins were having an effect, I was feeling relaxed. Things were slowing down. “That’s a problem – because that report wasn’t for you. The report was securely sent to the Controller.”
“That is correct, Jack – the Controller sent me the report.”
I sat at the table. Who was on the gas line, what happened?
“You see, Jack; the major was burnt with the others. If he was on the gas line, he wouldn’t have been burnt. Also, if the gas line was turned off, then the accident wouldn’t have happened. The Controller is worried, Jack – that you were in charge of the gas line. The Controller would not be happy if that were the case. Do you understand, Jack?”
I felt relaxed. The green goblins were definitely working now. I didn’t care about the report anymore. I was calm, composed, and I didn’t need to speak to the stupid computer. “I’m going for a lie down,” I said.
I sat in my bunk and dreamt of green. Green fields, trees, grass, apples and cucumbers. I don’t know why I dreamt of green, I just didn’t want to dream of red. I wanted nothing that remind would remind me of that terrible planet. It was a magnificent dream, but it was disturbed by an alarm. I opened my eyes, I was drowsy. It took me a while to realise where I was, and what the noise was. I got out of my bunk and made my way to the control room. “What is it?” I said.
“We have a problem, Jack. A problem with the solar panel.”
I looked at the terminal display. I checked the outside cameras; it looked like the panel had been knocked.
“Are the other panels still working?” I asked.
“They are, Jack, but the Controller would like it to be fixed.”
“Fixed?”
“Yes, Jack, he would like you to go and fix it.”
I wasn’t in the mood for a spacewalk, Brad, or Kate always did that. Sure, I had done it in training, but this was different. Was it really necessary?
“It won’t take you long, Jack; it looks like something has hit it. Maybe some space debris.”
I went and suited up. It took ages. Everything was slow, I was still chilled out. I couldn’t think clearly. I checked the oxygen and the fuel. Everything seemed okay. I moved to the airlock. The inner door opened, I went in, the door closed behind me.
The outer door opened. It was dark outside.
“Bye Jack,” said the computer, “it was nice knowing you.”
I looked at the outer door, I tried to close it – nothing happened. I pressed the button again. I tried to open the inner door. I pressed all the buttons. Nothing. I couldn’t get back into the ship. I should be panicking, but it was quiet, peaceful. I looked through the outer door. I could see the stars were out – so many – the dead ones and the living. The ship glided through the blackness. We were still making excellent progress.